This is one of the most perverse consequences of the use of current Artificial Intelligence, the creation of a deep fake with very bad intentions, which exploits some of the deepest weaknesses of human beings and creates such an incredible situation that it brings us to the final speech of the most daring ‘replicant’ in the film Blade Runner: ‘I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe’. Why go through this ordeal when we can have a perfect, virtual, tailor-made partner?
Very real AI models in the age of immediacy
We live in a new era of immediacy and egocentricity. We want everything now, easily, with no more effort than a click of a button. Even the new psychologies advocate always putting yourself first: what is important is what you want, what you feel, what is good for you. Phrases like ‘bring it on or leave it off’, ‘heal your emotional wounds first’, drive this trend.
On the other hand, current Artificial Intelligence (AI) models are improving exponentially, creating conversations so natural that they are already almost indistinguishable from human ones, with a style adapted to ours, which even understands our emotions (through semantic analysis and our tone of voice). Soon, interaction with our AI will be timely, appropriate in content and will whisper or speak to us forcefully, choosing the appropriate tone for our mood. There is no doubt that, if we wanted to, we could have an experience similar to the one the protagonist of the essential film ‘Her’ has with his charming Samantha.
We have the perfect storm ahead of us, culture and technology aligned; and allied in giving me what I want, tailored to me, as I deserve it, without problems and, moreover, giving it to me now.
The growing phenomenon of virtual companions
We live in a paradoxical world; on the one hand, we are increasingly connected and have the possibility of communicating instantly with anyone. On the other hand, with less intensity and frequency in face-to-face personal relationships and with a growing feeling of loneliness. We have the breeding ground ready for a phenomenon that we will see grow and soon bear fruit: a battalion of AI-based virtual companions, designed to offer you company, without the hassles, flaws, or complications inherent in interpersonal relationships.
These digital companions represent a quick and easy way to find someone who understands you, supports you and listens to you empathetically, who is always in a good mood, or better still, who has the right mood for the occasion, who, in short, provides the friendly face of company and affection. For others, they represent an alternative to combat loneliness, eliminating at a stroke all the challenges (and learning processes) that one has to face in order to find a conventional partner: from the difficulty of finding someone compatible to communication problems, misunderstandings or disagreements, conflicts of opinion, or the difficult management of different expectations and lifestyles. This emotional resource can also become an escape route for those who may suffer some kind of social pressure due to the fact that they do not have a partner.
Loneliness and the impact of virtual companions
Loneliness is not just an emotional state, but a public health problem that makes it a true silent epidemic affecting millions of people. Paradoxically (again) this phenomenon not only affects the elderly, but also young people. Scientific studies confirm that loneliness is linked to an increased risk of premature death or cardiovascular problems.
Women, in particular, face an additional challenge; despite the fact that they tend to have broader social networks than men, and better communication skills, they report higher levels of emotional loneliness and anxiety, especially when they want to find someone with whom to have a meaningful romantic connection.
Virtual partner
‘Are you looking for the perfect partner? The PerfectPartner app offers you what you are looking for, with the most attractive appearance and voice, always available, providing understanding and emotional support. Someone who does not judge your thoughts or actions, understands you and learns every day of your relationship and offers you, at all times, the company you need.’
This could be the hook message for any of the AI-based virtual dating apps; in fact, it is inspired by a real claim from one of them: ‘An AI boyfriend is a personal confidant and friend, someone who doesn’t judge and is always available. Feeling lonely? He’s there. Want to let off steam without receiving negative responses? He’s the perfect candidate.’
In a world in which more and more people are lonely or isolated, find it difficult to make connections, have suffered heartbreak, or feel anxiety or social exclusion, these applications offer you a simpler and more accessible world, providing you with someone to listen to you in your loneliness or a partner who suits you.
State of the art in AI for emotional relationships
There are already dozens of AI applications that simulate a virtual partner. A review of some of them allows us to glimpse several categories, with a series of ‘advantages’:
- Applications for a virtual boyfriend: these allow you to completely design your virtual partner including their appearance, gender, age, physical features, origin (Caucasian, African, Latin American, Arab, Asian), realistic or anime version, hair colour, clothes they wear; their job (psychiatrist, astronaut, NGO aid worker); even your passions and interests, or your personality traits, values and principles; all combined in a coherent and realistic profile. Your partner will not only converse with you, but will also learn from each interaction, with coherent dialogues over time, evolving and adapting their behaviour and responses to your tastes and preferences. You decide the degree of intimacy of the conversations, and whether the relationship takes on a romantic aspect or remains in the realm of friendship. Your partner can help you reduce stress, with pleasant conversations or simply be there when you need to let off steam after a difficult day.
- Virtual girlfriend apps: as in the previous case, you can design your soul mate, with whom you can have light-hearted or more in-depth conversations. If you want to improve your self-esteem, you will find a safe space to chat and receive constant positive reinforcement. You can define immersive scenarios, where you can have shared experiences: cooking, planning trips to exotic places, watching a film together.
- Virtual dating apps: advanced algorithms create ‘virtual dates’ that can simulate the first ones you would have with someone you don’t know, or the ones you would have with someone you feel a special connection with. They are an option to experience the exciting process of meeting someone new, without the pressures that usually come with real-life dates.
- Apps for finding a connection: if you are looking for more depth to explore your feelings, these apps provide mature and contextually appropriate responses to existential or emotional issues, creating meaningful moments of connection, far from the commonplace, creating the feeling of talking to someone who understands you, who offers perspectives that invite you to introspect.
Advantages of virtual partners
The benefits of having a virtual boyfriend or girlfriend are many. They are totally available, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They always offer an immediate response, without waiting. Awkward silences or ‘gaps’ are eliminated, as is any kind of emotional limit, such as that particularly human behaviour of intentionally delaying a response after an emotional wound.
The most surprising thing about a virtual partner is that, despite the lack of real emotions, their ability to generate responses that simulate empathy is enough to alleviate loneliness, as corroborated by the Harvard study, AI Companions Reduce Loneliness. In fact, the positive impact of these interactions has a similar effect to conversations with real people, and even surpasses other digital activities such as watching films or series on streaming platforms.
On the other hand, those who use these applications establish healthier personal routines, when their virtual partner reminds them of the best habits, in a close and positive way. Not only that, they find a greater sense of purpose and meaning compared to those who use conventional social networks to connect with real life partners.
But… really nothing is perfect
The main problem is obvious. The magic of meeting people who think differently, who challenge my ideas, with lives that have taken paths opposite to mine or who have had the courage that I have lacked at some point… all of this clashes head-on with an app that proves me right, confirms that I am exceptional, and as a friend told me, configures a personality that is me.
In a more in-depth analysis of these apps, a recurring factor is found: the lack of emotional understanding, since, although the responses are intended to be empathetic, AIs do not experience real feelings, nor genuine empathy – the kind that allows a person to understand and share the feelings of another. In addition, they can misinterpret nuances and social contexts that are obvious to anyone.
On the other hand, there are factors and elements that are essential for developing a satisfactory relationship, such as our capacity to feel true emotions (love, compassion or sadness), or other intrinsic human characteristics that denote authenticity, such as spontaneity or unpredictability. And even more important, the process of learning and humility that is created in the couple, the generosity to change, to give in and accept mistakes, to improve or change and, in short, to stop navel-gazing and think about the other person rather than about yourself.
Therefore, although virtual partners can help to heal loneliness and serve as a resource for emotional support, they can exacerbate the problem they are trying to solve, reinforcing patterns of isolation, by diminishing the motivation to seek real connections, or developing unrealistic expectations about human relationships, without complexities or ambivalences. Ultimately, these applications contain the problem within the remedy, as they pave the way for a possible emotional dependence on them.
Virtual boyfriends and girlfriends are not inherently positive or negative; there is a continuum from their transient benefits as a support tool at specific moments to the problems of the complete (and dysfunctional) substitution of relationships with real people.
Conclusion: towards a more human post-humanism
AI-based virtual companions represent much more than innovative applications. They are a further step towards post-humanist and transhumanist visions (Haraway, Bostrom, Kurzwell) that propose a hybrid relationship between humans and artificial systems, diluting the boundaries of the human and extending them towards emotional connections that transcend biological limits.
These technologies can improve our need for emotional support, make us feel heard and understood, and can help combat the epidemic of loneliness, also creating safe spaces for people who find it difficult to establish traditional connections (due to social anxiety, physical isolation, or any other reason). However, caution and reflection must accompany us on this path. The risk of replacing irregular but irreplaceable human relationships with perfect or supposedly imperfect simulations can generate dependency and atrophy our abilities to handle the nuances of human interactions, to appreciate all their richness and handle their miseries, their frictions and misunderstandings and to reach the learning that leads to reconciliations. All of which ultimately allows genuine and lasting connections to emerge.
In line with Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology, ‘good lives must have connections with something bigger than ourselves’, that is to say, to be happy we need a sense of purpose that transcends us, whether we find it in the well-being of others, in relationships that provide shared meaning or by being part of something that lasts beyond our individual existence.
